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| i've been scarred in my mind for real.
everytime i try to look away, i remember the killed.
everytime i look away, i start feeling the chills.
lying to myself, what i saw wasn't real.
i don't want to rap about this topic anymore.
many of you think i'm using this because i'm bored.
many of you think i'm using them just to appeal.
i'm just asking you, if i don't speak for them, who will?
time is such a scary thing, i've become so calloused.
spent a night with them, i realize my home's a palace.
spent a day with them, i realized i have it good.
even though i know this, i don't live the way i should.
i was bitten by a bug, living in that area...
later on i found out i'm carrying malaria.
no i didn't curse Him, but thanked Him for my role.
cuz now i got their suffering just tatted on my soul.
till the day i die, i will understand their pain.
depending on my God, like a farmer is with rain.
relying on my Lord, my one and only team...
the hardest thing to give up: is my one and only dream.
living in a world where evil is now good.
things i couldn't do, i realize that i now could.
at times i find myself just screaming at His face,
if i'm not allowed, why tease me with this taste.
and every single time i just feel like letting go.
i remember all the people who believe me at my shows.
think about the power in the decisions i choose.
power to confuse or to introduce them You.
i've been scarred in my mind for real.
everytime i try to look away, i remember the killed.
everytime i look away, i start feeling the chills.
lying to myself, what i saw wasn't real.
i don't want to rap about this topic anymore.
many of you think i'm using this because i'm bored.
many of you think i'm using them just to appeal.
i'm just asking you, if i don't speak for them, who will?
under stand i never asked for this position.
sword is getting heavy and it seems like no one listens.
cuts my own flesh but you see i give it more.
my soul is in a state of a moral civil war.
and as i keep on growing so does the army of hate.
who wait for every slip and reason to call me fake.
to the panel of judges: i admit i can't handle you.
i just hope with every fall, i just become more tangible.
i'm another boy, another son, another man.
i failed yesterday and will fail today again.
i repeat this, to all of those you don't get it.
if i'm not LYRICKS then why give me the credit.
i don't want your props or your daps for my flows.
i just hope my raps will just act as sign posts.
i know i'm not as flashy or as attractive.
but at the end of the day, it's what my tracks DID.
did i show you life or rap about death.
just to be in light did i sacrifice breath
for the riches of the world, did i compromise love.
for the beauty of her face, what did i give up
of course there are times i just wish that i was free.
just to live in today's definition of free.
want to be rebellious, reppin up the fist.
life would be easy so believing you don't exist.
i've been scarred in my mind for real.
everytime i try to look away, i remember You're real.
everytime i look away, i start feeling the chills.
lying to myself, what i feel isn't real.
i don't want to rap about You anymore.
many of them think i'm using You because i'm bored.
many of them think i'm using You just to appeal.
i'm just asking if you, if i don't remind them, who will?
lyricks - scarred
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| this challenge and change in society (i think its like some psychology stuff) course i took is really helping me to think realize a lot of things. just learning and growing. it's really making me think a lott..which i usually dont do much haha. but i just wanted to write this out because i found it quite interesting...i guess i've been feeling depressed lately with a lot of things in life..but i got to this thought about opposite things/emotions are well balanced? i don't really know what it's called..but i think i finally come up with a solution. i think there are only good things in life because there are bad things to compare it with. like maybe how some encourages you...you wouldn't find it encouraging unless you felt discouraged in the first place or someone was discouraging you. or you wouldn't feel protected if someone was protecting you from nothing. or you wouldn't experience people's love/adoration unless there are others who hated you. i thinkk...no matter how hard i try to avoid all the bad things in life..there will always be people to make it bad again. but life is about what you do with the bad things...so i guess that makes life fair after all..hmm... | | |
| Cry In My Heart
there's a cry in my heart
for Your glory to fall
for Your presence to fill up my senses
there's a yearning again
a thirst for discipline
a hunger for things that are deeper
could You take me beyond?
could You carry me through?
if i open my heart?
could i go there with You?
for i've been here before
but i know there's still more
Oh, Lord, i need to know You
for what do i have
if i don't have You, Jesus?
what in this life
could mean any more?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter
of my head
Lifter of this headi really don't know how to describe how i'm feeling now.. but i know He knows... | | |
| havn't been feeling the greatest lately...some people just make me frustrated..how they get mad so easily and take things that dont really matter so seriously..i remember a teacher at school telling me..once high school is overr..u wont have many friends left except for the ones you were close with..i remember all the people i knew from high school...though im not in the same school anymore...i really havn't kept in touch with a lot of them...even though some didn't treat me that well..i still miss them. school is so frustrating too..not because its hard..but because it requires discipline..i think school is easy if you can just work hard at it..i used to think i was so disciplined and self controlled but when it comes to school..its completely different. i can't even depend on anyone anymore..parents can't help except 'encourage' me to work harder..which really doesn't do much..and friends..are just there to distract you.. one last thing..i've been listening to this song by these viet rappers from the states and their song talks about just basically letting music control your mind..and make you happy or whatever mood song you're listening to...i tried that for a while..it was kinda cool..haha...but i think its time to stop..its like..running away from your problems...i realize i couldn't really depend on anyone anymore except myself...its all up to mee.... butt...i forgot about something..theres someone i can always depend on..no matter what...thats God..whatever i need...he'll be there with me...i just have to..remember that right? if i have faith in Him..then he'll always be by my side..he'll give me whatever's best for me..and that means..i dont have to worry anymore...its not that i dont have to care about it..just that...i dont need to worry..=)
something to remember...
You said Ask and you will receive whatever you need
You Said Pray and I'll hear from heaven and I'll heal your land
You said Your glory will fill the earth like water to seas
You said Lift up your eyes the harvest is here the kingdom is near
You said ask and I'll give the nations to you
Oh Lord, thats the cry of my heart
Distant shores and the islands will see your light as it rises on us
You Said
Shane Bernard
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| Something cool...i found.. "To let go isn't to forgot, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn't about winning or losing. It's not about pride and it's not about how you appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It's not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss and it's not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind confidence in the future. Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free." but i realize its hard to do by myself. | | |
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